I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
