just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Someone came in the potted fern
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
