That's intense
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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