I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
