kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
love makes seman taste better
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
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