I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize