I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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