WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize