So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize