have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
You ruined the universe
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
