Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize