Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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