So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
