Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
