So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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