Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize