Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
