READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
