Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
