My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
