R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize