Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
