just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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