very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Dicks are not precious.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
