Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize