Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I licked your asshole in confidence.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
