I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
