hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I came so hard my ears popped.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
