someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
