Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
