In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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