There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Just high enough for therapy.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize