stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
