i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I will die if light touches me.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
