I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
