maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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