There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
