I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
