i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
