Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize