How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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