Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize