some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
My vagina is very pro this idea
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
