pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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