so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
