Those balls look pretty dangerous.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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