Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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