FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
