We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
