They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
