she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
