Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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