If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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