omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
