if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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