To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
