Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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