He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Randomize