This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
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