i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
